
Artwork © 2010, Rick Grimes.
GRIMES: AN' AH GOT PLANS FER ALL OF 'EM...
d11/17/81 Tues. 12mid-5am via old ntbk (tiny print) tr 3/18-.22/2009
In 'group', in lower floor of building like monolith but smaller, more intimate yet still / stone and glass, desert palms outside in courtyard (with garden 'Ken' watered); group in separate room / spacious but low ceilinged; carpeted. I on raised section, others 'lower'.
Flux of yellow tropical shirt, & dark blue shirt between shrink & I as we argue, in persuading tones, whether I should leave or not.
I feel I seem unreliable. I say yes, he no, (yet he also knows can replace me). No real progress yet; can pretend I won & am leaving.
Before go to lockers on other side of hall is booth where go in & get new clothes, coats formed on you. Others gathered to get in. Tommy A. for one. A coupla others I kno standing in & back. Perhaps booth goes thru wall back into group room & is door.
As I'm in other side, Buddy Ebsen enters wearing new Tshirt, w statelike figure on it; the 'coat version' soft, red, I'd enjoy wearing. I said, perhaps, how I like coat. He sez, "You'll need one."
Cross hall where meet, in locker room section, (openended on left nearer glass wall), dark holloweyed B.G.+ me imitation in soft-lined dark blue jacket. He getting 2nd coat from locker I think. He my obvious 'replacement', (actually the one who should leave), dismaying. I should have red coat of life & fire.
Woman from left his mother. Smaller; darker red/brown hair than my ma. As approaching feel that same ol' socially vetoed bond. The mother, I think, mentions having dinner w them in cafeteria somewhere near in the bldg. There are others milling about thruout.
There is a corridor (or one formed by them) of yellow orange chalk pictures prominent on easels. Granpa Munster did them. Have on my critic's pose, yet, because I love the weird crank I 'reserve judgement', hesitating on finally stating any criticism. Now is Eddie who is artist-lessoning. [sic]. He overseered by Granpa, who asks 'should he continue?'
Eddie has made a tooth car, a Pinewood Derby racer of no certain color, irregularly covered by 'impacted' white molars. Contest for looks & speed. I judge, but have sympathy for Eddie.
View of some four or five cars, one-after-one spinning about like wrecks, maybe last one or so Eddie's in mini-explosion where lead plug spotted. "Who done it?" Who is mystery wrecker?
Intuit will be easy to find culprit as it will be one of few left whose car'll still run. [ I, judge, really the culprit. Perhaps know this in dream].
Vignette of the commotion: Beaver Cleaver, in white sweater, struggling with irate kids & their parents. Then video of Wally, Beav' & Eddie Haskell & a 4th--dark, vague (Lumpy, I guess, who was both darkhaired & mentally 'vague', and also 'on less' ).
They laffing 'bout some resolution, this being end of 'nother episode. Seems fluid, more distinct & real---honestly casual like more of real selves enters in.
As focus in on Eddie, remember he's now a cop & is he ever sad? & he seems so here.
His laughter caught in its fade, I notice his yellow teeth. Greyed by 'film'.
Now more removed, but watching large tv, shifts from ours in livin' room at beginning to Adamson's at later end. A kind of news with Morton Dean CBS-type anchor, but richer & more vivid. Last feature, (location shots: Italy? Europe? Eastern U.S.?) a voiceover: "famous Cardinal, (name unfocused), was born he weighed 20 stone." [ = 280 lbs. ]. This I take to be like 20 lbs. & hopefully less, so dream fairer & mother in less pain. Tho' this is far from so.
Imply next is mother of same; voice of interviewer / reporter somewhat English bent, intense, but muted like fever. The mother is American poor.
Man you no see asks large, white, long-&-heavy-faced woman, "Would you say giving birth is an ordeal (other women should endure?)"
"God, yes!" she interrupts, not meaning other women should.
Immediately continues: "Help me get out the next sack!"
She's sweaty, in pain, soft enuff, but worn with bruises on her face---beaten. (By husband? Decide not).
A small bandage on cheekbone see when turns head. She overlarge, long tall blonde, fat. Unattractive, but pain impresses.
Shift into frame: long metal trough with 7 babies on each of both sides. Mention of her 14th, but must be the 15th on the way, as equal #s in trough & not the 13th. Or one baby not hers.
Hear her, still giving birth, say, "An' I got plans for all of 'em. One's goin' ta So&So College...".